My grandma Velda Mae Duce Egan Thornley passed away on Friday, 29 September 2023. When I got the text from my mom that morning, I was completely shocked! I knew she had been in pain for a few years and was feeling lonely and left behind by her two husbands, so I was so so happy for her to be free and with them again. But I was so sad for me. She was the Grandma Thornley I knew and loved since I was seven, and she stepped into that roll with loving arms. (One thing I'll remember her teaching me is that she always expected a hug.) She came to every band concert (she loved concerts!) and was there for the milestone events in my life. I feel lucky that we lived close to her and saw her and Grandpa weekly on Sunday visits, if not more often for lawn mowing and leaf raking.
I remember the first time we met her, and I'm still not sure if I have the story right since I was only 7, but I remember she invited my mom and Heather and Nate and me to her house in Richmond for a hot dog (I think she called them weenies) roast in her fire pit in the back yard. I don't think Grandpa was there. I think it was just a chance for us to get to know her. (Where they engaged or just dating at this point? I don't know.) I loved visiting that Richmond house while they lived there for a few years: it was someplace new to explore and get to love. The pool table and giant chalk board upstairs, the scones in the kitchen on a Sunday visit, the big front/sitting room that we couldn't be too wild in, the interesting dress ups to play with.
Grandma could talk to anyone. She just loved people - her family, of course, but also her neighbors, her friends, the random strangers she'd meet walking around the mall for exercise in the winter. I remember she chatted with my brother-in-law Bret when everyone was together here at our house for Sam's baby blessing lunch. They connected somehow that day and she still asked about him the last time I talked to her on the phone over 8 years later!
I loved talking to her on the phone (and am regretting not doing it more often). Often the only way I knew any of my cousins were having a baby was from visiting with her. I remember one day in middle school I was home feeling crampy and gross and she came over with Grandpa to visit my mom. She sat on the couch and commiserated with me about monthly girl issues. In the last few years the kids wrote her letters and sent her pictures and she always wrote back and included a little money or an activity she printed off the computer for them to do.
I remember staying at Grandma and Grandpa's house while my mom and dad took their yearly trip to San Diego for the Symitar conference. Heather and I got to sleep in the brass bed in the basement. Other fun happenings at their house in North Logan that I loved were: Thanksgivings when the whole basement was full of one long table and so many Thornleys, ringing chimes on Boxing Day, gathering for chili dogs after the Pumpkin Walk, eating chocolate zucchini cake on the back lawn in the summer. I love that she wanted to be in on the puzzles and card games with the kids (and she was competitive!). And speaking of competitive, she also loved sports and would stay up to listen to or watch Sky View or the Aggies or the Jazz (Grandpa did not care) and then talk about the game with Kylie on our Sunday visit.
Grandma was very neat and organized. I remember a running grocery list on the fridge (whenever we run out of something or open the last of it, I write it on the list on our fridge, and I definitely adopted that habit from her). She had a bulletin board in the kitchen with pictures of all the grandchildren lined up by family in rows. She had a little book where she had written down (always in pencil) all of her posterity (and Grandpa's, too) - their names and birthdays.
I loved getting to know her kids and grandkids a little bit when we had big family reunions (there was the one at Paradise Springs Ranch) or when they came to the Pumpkin Walk or other random visits that we combined. She was the first person I knew to have cancer, and it was fun to hear about the celebrations and sleepovers that she and her daughters would have each year around Race for the Cure time.
I feel so lucky to have had a chance to have this Grandma to be in my life. No, she wasn't my grandma by blood, but she surely filled that roll and loved me like her own. She had family pictures of all the families in the front entry and wedding pictures of all her and Grandpa's kids in the basement and they were all sorted by age so everyone was intermingled into one big family instead of separated into Egan and Thornley. She had such a big heart and I will miss her.
Just like with Grandpa, I wasn't able to be at her funeral and I cried and cried about that while we were in Vermont. Gregg brainstormed all kinds of options to get me home, but in the end we just kept on with our regular plan. But he found a route through Vermont on our way to Laurel and Bret's in Connecticut that had us stopping at a park with good cell service so we could tether his phone to his laptop and sit in a quiet, beautiful place to watch the livestream of the funeral. I'm grateful for him supporting me that way. The funeral was beautiful and we sang along with the grandkids when they sang My Heavenly Father Loves Me. She had, of course, planned the whole funeral well in advance, and I was so glad that her family was able to find a bagpiper to play at the cemetery (she had told me years ago that she wanted bagpipes at her funeral, so the first thing I though of when I heard she had died was bagpipes!). It was a perfect send off. (Thanks to Ky for getting a little video of that for me!)
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| I snatched this from Family Search - Trudy had uploaded some pics from the funeral home and this just made me smile to see. These pictures (plus one of Grandpa and Annette) and this crosstich were hanging in by the front door in North Logan so they feel like Grandma's house to me. |
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| This was a portrait that I had never seen before! |
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| Here is the program my mom saved for me. |
And here is her obituary and funeral video.
(I am so grateful for this option that only happened because
of COVID)
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| Ah, my sweet fam. |
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| I've never been to the Richmond Cemetery but it looks like a beautiful spot! |
I snagged a few more pics from Trudy's memories on Family Search (there are so many treasures there!) and from my aunts' and sister's instagram posts and collected a bunch from my stash of memories with Grandma. There were so many times that we visited, but relatively such a few number of pictures, so I'm grateful for the ones that I have.
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| Velda at work - I'm pretty sure she was a lunch lady. I remember having a retirement party for her after they were married? (I was little and don't remember many details, obviously!) |
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| This one was posted by Sondra. I don't know when or where it was taken but I just love it. |
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| From Joan on their travels through Ireland and England. |
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| From Ky - when she met Zoe for the first time. And I just love this because I was the one that talked to Grandma the day Zoe was born and got to tell her that Ky's baby girl had arrived. When I told Grandma her name was Zoe, she paused for a minute and then said, "Is that a real name?" Ha! I still chuckle about that because Grandma's name is Velda! (I have never ever heard anyone else named Velda.) |
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| This is another from Trudy's memories. I love it because that picture she is holding is one that hung in her house so seeing it reminds me of Grandma's house, too. |
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| Isn't she the cutest thing? |
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| Sept 1992 - Grandpa married Velda Mae Egan. |
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| Sept 1992 - And we have a new grandma! |
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| Mar 1995 - Grandma and Grandpa gave me this Hakuna Matata sweatshirt for my 10th birthday. |
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| Mar 2003 - 18th birthday party |
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| June 2003 - High School Graduation. |
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| Dec 2006 - USU graduation. |
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| Aug 2010 - at our reception, always so much grandparent support! |
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| Mar 2013 - Grandma was part of my amazing support crew at my thesis defense presentation. |
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| Nov 2013 - Meeting baby Cal. |
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| Nov 2014 - Taco Plop night at the Elwoods'. Grandma really loved taco plop! |
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| Oct 2015 - Meeting baby Sam. |
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| Nov 2015 - A little double four generation action after Sam's blessing. |
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| Nov 2015 - Grandma and Bret getting acquainted. |
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| Mar 2016 - A bunch of Thornleys (both Grandpa's and his brother Ray's families) and Egans (Grandma Velda's kids and their kids) celebrating a double birthday for the Thornley brothers. |
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| Oct 2016 - Sharing trick-or-treats with these cute little great-grands. |
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| Aug 2017 - Cal and Sam enjoying ice cream treats with Great Grandparents at their new home in Maple Springs. |
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| Nov 2017 - puzzling with Grandpa and Grandma after Thanksgiving dinner. |
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| April 2018 - more ice cream treats at "Grandpa's house". |
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| April 2018 - playing a rousing game of UNO. |
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| Mar 2019 - Grandpa's 91st birthday gathering with the fam at Maple Springs. |
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| Oct 2019 - the Pumpkin Walk will always remind me of Grandma and Grandpa Thornley since it was practically in their backyard. |
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| Dec 2020 - we had a fun extended Thornley family Christmas zoom during COVID times. |
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| Jan 2022 - Our last visit with Grandma in person at Trudy's house in St. George. |
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| Feb 2022 - Lots of love in crochet here, but I want to highlight the purple doll's blanket that Great Grandma Thornley made for Cal when she was tiny (I think when Sam was born?). She also made me a little yellow pincushion that I use (and think of her) every time I sew. |
